Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Want to look tiny?

Stand between two big guys.

This picture was taken in 1994.  I was 22 years old.

The funny thing is, back then, I thought I was hideously fat.  I actually was (and still am) overweight.  But standing between two very large men has a way of altering one's perceptions.  I love this picture because it makes me look petite.  The guy in the burgundy shirt used to be able to lift me up like a sack of potatoes and carry me.  He often did, too.  There was a lot of frustration at the summer camp where we were working at the time.  

I wasn't dating anyone back then and wouldn't for another six years or so.  Was I really that unappealing to the opposite sex?  Maybe it was my obnoxious personality.

Speaking of people who are obnoxious, I finally had to unfriend my cousin last night.  Lately, he's been making inflammatory comments on my Facebook page to the point at which I was starting to cringe whenever I saw his name.  That, in and of itself, is generally not enough to make me unfriend someone, especially when it's a family member.  I maintain patience for a long time with irritating people, although I find as I get older, my fuse gets shorter.

He also started engaging Bill in debates.  Again... not really my business.  I wouldn't have dumped him for that.  

No... what finally drove me to remove my cousin from my friends list was his advertising for a crowdfunding campaign to build Trump's wall.  He posted a link with the declaration that he had given $100 for this project, which the creator hoped would be fully funded by Labor Day.  I decided that the stupid was just way too strong and I had to remove myself.

First off, I think building a massive wall between Mexico and the United States is a ridiculous and ultimately futile idea.  It's not as if there aren't other ways for people to enter the country illegally.  Moreover, it smacks of the Soviet era, where people were kept in or out of the country by huge fences.  Wasn't it a Republican named Ronald Reagan who implored Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall?  Haven't we learned anything from that?  


Historic words.

Secondly, I think the wall will be much too expensive to build and maintain.  We have many citizens in the United States whose basic needs are not being met.  I think it's much more important to help Americans meet their basic needs than build a fucking wall that will waste resources.  I am less worried about illegal immigrants than I am regular people who are not getting by.  A wall is not going to help Americans get by.

Thirdly, I think if Trump wants a fucking wall, he should be the one to fund it.  Crowdsourcing funding for a wall proposed by a multibillionaire president-- one who insisted the Mexicans were going to pay for it-- is just plain stupidity.  If you want to donate money for such a ridiculous cause, I can't sit by and watch it.  Crowdfunding has become the go to method for paying for major things.  Hell... people are having to crowdfund medical care and housing costs.  I would much rather see people donate money to causes that will help real people and not a megalomaniacal orange man with the mentality of a toddler.  

And finally... I am offended by xenophobia and racist attitudes.  I think the wall promotes those things.  It's bad enough right now that brown people are being stopped and interrogated about who they are and whether or not they "belong" in the United States.  You know what?  That's not unlike Germany in the 1930s and 40s, when Jews were harassed and ultimately rounded up and murdered.  Besides... the vast majority of Americans sprang from immigrants.  We are citizens of the world and we should be cooperating and trying to work together rather than dividing into "us" and "them" camps.

Bottom line--  I can't tell you how to spend your money.  I can't tell you for whom to vote.  I don't want to stifle healthy debate.  But if you repeatedly show me that you're a dipshit, I am going to lose patience eventually.  I finally ran out of patience dealing with my cousin, so I had to remove him from my social media sphere.

Actually, lately I have unfriended a few family members... people who make me feel like I don't belong with my own kin.  I recently dropped a once favorite aunt because she's been treating me with silent disdain for about fifteen years and I got tired of it.  I'd see her be active on everybody's feeds, but she never had anything to say to me.  In fact, even when I last saw her, back in 2014, she barely spoke to me.  So, I figure it's time I quit worrying about her.  I think I may start doing the unfriending thing more often.  Life is much too short for such angst.
I'm really not asking for a "safe space"... it's more a respect space.  You can be in my space if you have basic respect for me.  Otherwise, get lost.  Sheesh... it makes me very sad, but last night I was thinking that I might not visit my family again.  I just don't know that I can take it... and frankly, I just don't feel like I belong anymore.  It's a shame, because I used to have so much love and respect for them.


  1. You do look very tiny in that picture.

    In terms of body image, is any female really happy about her appearance?

    I have too many racists and extremists in my family to have many social media relationships within my family.

    1. There are probably a few women who don't care. Some might think they're gorgeous. Most women probably have a lot of things they'd like to change about the way they look.


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