Sunday, September 15, 2013

Things Bill does now that he never did when he was LDS...

I noticed that I got linked in Main Street Plaza, a community for anyone interested in Mormonism.  Actually, I get linked there fairly often and I always appreciate the folks who take the time to visit my blog after reading there.  Anyway, this morning, when I noticed the extra hits coming in, I started thinking about all the ways Bill's life has changed since he gave up Mormonism.

Granted, Bill was a convert, so before he was a Mormon, he had a somewhat average lifestyle.  He drank coffee and booze and chose his own undergarments.  But, for whatever reason, he felt Mormonism could enhance his life...  or maybe that's what he told himself as his ex wife decided for him that their family would be Mormon.  So in 1997, he joined the church with his ex wife, two daughters, and ex stepson (who at that point was still "son" to my husband).  They were all sealed to each other for time and eternity.  In three years, my husband and his ex wife would split up.  But Bill continued to stay officially LDS so his kids wouldn't hate him.  He finally resigned in 2006, which is when things really fell to shit between him and his daughters.

Curiously, the following year was when things started to turn around for Bill in a good way.  In 2007, his finances improved.  And he started having fun... once he was done with his deployment to Iraq, that is.  Here are some things Bill has done that he never would have done as a Mormon...

* Visited a beer spa...

* Joined Peetniks...

* Went skinny dipping...

* Whisky tastings!

* Went underwear shopping... (funny story about this follows below)

* Watched a whole shitload of R rated movies...

* Learned to love red wine...

* Bought tickets to see The Book of Mormon Musical...



* Learned how to become more outspoken and critical...

* Learned that he could live without his TBM daughters.

* Sang "Detachable Penis" in a bar.



As soon as I started playing this, Bill showed up with a silly smile on his face...

* Learned how to brew beer...





* Became a gourmand...



* Learned to love Saint Obnoxious t-shirts...



* Saved and invested money...

* Recovered his credit rating...

* Watched lots of South Park...

* Had a relaxing evening...

* Sex without shame...

* Professional massages...

* Learned to swear properly...

* Read and wrote risqué stories... ;-)

* Bought art from a madman...


* Slept in on Sunday...

* Traveled...

The list goes on and on...  You'll notice I mention things like brewing beer, travel, and good food.  The fact is, as an ex Mormon, Bill has a lot more disposable income.  But more than that, he no longer cares if someone from church catches him doing things that appear to be "evil".  I will never forget when we were at Chodovar Brewery in the Czech Republic, sitting in pewter tubs adjacent to each other.  There we sat in beer as we sipped freshly brewed suds.  He looked at me and said, "I never would have done this if it weren't for you..."  Not only would the beer spa have been against his religion, but he would have been too embarrassed and ashamed.  On that same trip, Bill got his very first massage from a woman not his wife.  It was very liberating.

Now, for the underwear story... When we first got married, we were pretty broke.  Bill had purchased some cheap knit boxer shorts from K-Mart.  I was sitting on our bed when he walked into the room.  The boxers he was wearing were not quite large enough to cover him.  I turned around and was just about eye level with his penis, which was poking out of the hole in the front of the boxers.  I gasped and blushed in surprise and covered my eyes, then said "For God's sake, cover yourself!"

He blushed.  I wasn't used to seeing a naked man and wasn't expecting to see that...  Oddly enough, his ex wife declared me "unsuitable" and a "bad influence" for not being Mormon.  Apparently, I'm not moral, even though the sight of my husband's penis was a shock to me when we first got married.

I then declared that we were going underwear shopping.  The first thing he was going to do was purchase some decent boxer shorts that he liked and that fit him properly.  It was stark contrast to his ex wife's style, which was to tell him he should be spending all his money on his family or the church instead of his own basic needs.  She would have begrudged him even purchasing decent underwear... because as a Mormon, he should be wearing church approved skivvies anyway.

I later told my Granny the underwear story.  She was in her late 90s at the time and thought it was hysterical.  She was the mother of nine, so I'm sure such a sight would not have made her blush.

In any case, Bill is having some much deserved fun.  Some people might say that Bill gave up pleasures of the next life for pleasures in this one...  Somehow, I feel like if there is a next life, the same admonishment might come into play.  Some higher evolved being would tell Bill not to enjoy life now because it will ruin the "next life".  Is there something beyond this life?  I don't know.  Bill "knows" more than I do, since he has had a near death experience.  Was it just his brain protecting him?  I don't know.  But it changed who he is and made him more spiritual, despite all he's been through.  It has helped keep him from becoming bitter and angry.

It sure has been fun watching him enjoy living and helping him discover new things.  

2 comments:

  1. As an exmormon myself, I'm on the same path as Bill.
    But with a Mormon wife, it is definitely a shorter list for me :-/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Keep plugging away, Rob. It's worth it!

    ReplyDelete

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